I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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