I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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