And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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