Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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