RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it glows. i had to have it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
