the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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