My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
