READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
