after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
