so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
