We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
