it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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