ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
