it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
