Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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