just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Little spoons don't ask big questions
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
