omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
