Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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