i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
