I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
