Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
sex in a hospital.. check
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
