that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think people are normalizing furries
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
