It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
