you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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