Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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