well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
