You really coming over, don't trick.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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