physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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