Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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