I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
