i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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