I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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