YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
