He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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