After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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