YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
