i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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