just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So squirting runs in the family.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
