its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
