Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
