I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
