I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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