An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
