I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize