distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
