I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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