I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
