is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
