You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
