your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my shit smells like andre
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
