Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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