so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize