I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
