Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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