Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
