I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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