every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
