She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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