Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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