apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
