We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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