Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
