Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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