Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
