so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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